Strange Wine Laws

We all know the saying: “Rules are made to be broken.” Right? Though we are raised to follow and respect them, rules are a real pain in the neck. Every single day, new laws are being written because someone lacked serious common sense. Those annoying limitations are put in place to make sure someone isn’t going to do something weird – and that’s how we end with those strange wine laws.

• We’re starting with Kansas, where it is strictly forbidden to serve wine in teacups. How about a coffee cup? No seriously, can I drink wine in a coffee cup in Kansas? Is that legal?

• Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers. This is quite a conundrum!

• A person can be sent to jail for five years for merely sending a bottle of beer, wine or spirits as a gift to a friend in Kentucky. Note to self : Never celebrate a birthday in Kentucky!

• In Utah, it is illegal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, unless it is ordered from the wine list. Also, alcohol beverage service in a licensed restaurant requires that you order food with your drink… I’m so glad they cleared that up because I generally like to have food when I go to a restaurant!

• No racy wine bottles in Alabama!
Seriously – if you’re going to sell wine in ‘Bama, keep the naked ladies or whatever else you godless French people are into off the label… because there will be no “immodest or sensuous” imagery there in the wine stores. Nothing says prude like Alabama!

• Although the French wine, “Fat Bastard,” is now distributed in 22 U.S. states, both Texas and Ohio have banned its sale within their borders due to obscenity laws.

• In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk. Sorry Nemo, but the law is the law.

• Colorado and Utah states have a flat ban on anything over 4.0% being sold outside of liquor stores.

• A number of states have strict laws as to what can be sold in liquor stores, typically restricting the sale of cold soft drinks, presumably so people don’t mix up a Jack and coke out in the car for the drive home. Wow! People do that?

Liquor boards in Minnesota and Tennessee are so opposed to basic convenience that they forbid the sale of any non-alcoholic beverage, meaning that even the most basic cocktails require multiple stops to acquire mixers.

As a result, a beverage company on the East coast is strategically offering tonic water and club soda infused with just the teeniest tiniest single percentage of alcohol and creating a beverage that under the aggressively weird laws of Tennessee qualified as two-proof “wine.”

• In Michigan, beer and wine can be sold in grocery and convenience stores, but you can’t buy it on Sunday before noon. How convenient! Go to church in the morning and hit the liquor store on the way home.

• In California, it is illegal to sell alcohol beverages within 5 feet of a cash register in a store that sells both alcohol and motor fuel.

Also, in 1990, California banned the traditional version of the famous book “Little Red Riding Hood” because there was a bottle of wine in the basket Little Red Riding Hood was taking to her sick grandmother, and the local school board thought it would encourage underage drinking.

• In Mississippi, a parent, guardian, or legal spouse may give beer and/or wine to persons 18 and older. Finally a rule I can live with ; )

• In Utah, wine used in wine tastings must not be swallowed. What?! That’s blasphemy! Note to self : Never go wine tasting in Utah.

• Georgia : While searching for various wine laws on the internet, I found one law that has nothing to do with wine, but was so ridiculous that it deserved to be posted (I hope it’s true!!!); Goldfish may not be given away to entice someone to enter into a game of BINGO.

Greek philosopher and scientist Aristotle once said “The law is reason unaffected by desire.” A variant of that saying is “The law is reason free of passion.” I think it is quite unreasonable to enjoy wine without any desire to drink it in the first place. Then, what’s the point? Desire – and passion – goes first, reason goes second. Drinking wine laws? I OBJECT, YOUR HONOR!! There is no room for “law” when it comes to enjoying wine in a glass, or even a teacup ; )

These laws have been taken from sources which do not include law citations. I’ve collected them from newsgroups, websites, and visitors to the site. As far as I know they are all true and very, very strange ; )

Santé